Be A-Fred, Be Very A-Fred/Transcript
This is the transcript to Be A-Fred, Be Very A-Fred. episode begins with a monster waiting in front of the bathroom door. Monster Wife: Honey, please, come out of the bathroom! Monster Husband: No! Monster Wife: But it's been 15 days! Oh, if only there was someone famous who could tell us what to do. appears before her; she gasps The Grim Reaper! You're a big-time underworld celebrity! Grim: That's right! And when us big-time celebrities need a make a big move, we use Big Move laxatives! Now with 30% more fiber tall. Monster Wife: That's a lot of fiber tall! Grim: (shows a traffic jam) Just imagine this traffic jam is you, trying to go to the bathroom. monster truck crushes the traffic jam, followed by more cars Big Move laxatives get things moving again. Monster Husband: (sighs and comes out of the bathroom) You're looking at a new monster! (chuckles) Don't go in there! (Grim and the two monsters share a laugh and stop) No, seriously. Don't go in there. Grim: Big Move laxatives. When it's time to make your move, make it a big move! Now, you could win to spend a day with me, the famous Grim Reaper! Curtesy of Big Move! Just write in 500 words or less all the fun things we do. Contest rules on each pill. Enter today! off the television Not bad, hey? Billy: You look fat on TV. Grim: offended Thanks. Thanks for that. Mandy: Why would anyone want to win a day with you? Grim: You two grimlins are looking at the hottest new spokesperson in the underworld! Billy: You're not that exciting, you know. Grim: Says the boy who eats his boogers on toast. doorbell rings Oh, he's here! The contest winner! Now, remember, I'm a big-shot idol to this guy. So, when he sees me, he may start, oh, you know. Screaming and crying and he'll lose control of his bladder. So, be ready. Grim Reaper opens the door. The ringer turns out to be Fred Fredburger, who is constantly ringing the doorbell. Fred Fredburger: Yes. ringing the doorbell Yes. ringing the doorbell Yes ringing the doorbell Grim: Hello? Fred Fredburger: Hi, Mr.! My name if Fred Fredburger. I can spell my name real good. F-R-E-D-F-R-E-D-B-U-R...G-E-R. Fred Fredburger! Yes. Hey, guess what? I can fit two fingers in my bellybutton. his two index fingers in his bellybutton Whoa! Grim: Yes, it is I. The Grim... Fred Fredburger: Grim and walks over to Mandy Look! No nose! No nose! No nose! No nose! Grim: Fred! Fred Fredburger: Yes? Grim: You have to leave. I'm waiting for a big fan to arrive. Fred Fredburger: But I won a contest. I wrote the best essay ever! My mama told me so! a paper out through his trunk See? takes the paper Mandy: What's it say? Grim: the paper "I want to eet sum frozun yogert." He gets 500 words of wish fulfillment and that's all he put? Billy: He's obviously a man of simple pleasures. Fred Fredburger: the light on Whoa! Grim: Very simple. flicks the light on and off This can't be right. You two watch him 'till I get back. disappears into the underworld. He is now seen at the Under Corps company talking to the CEOs. Grim: This is some kind of joke, right? I'm a professional celebrity squandering my talent on stuff like this? I demand to see the other entries! Chairman Hairman pushes the button on his desk and opens the door. A large monster executive squeezes in and spits a vast amount of papers on top of Grim. Then the monster turns and leaves Oh, all these people wanted to spend the day with me! I'm having an emotional overflow! ectoplasm-like goo from his eye sockets and mouth Chairman Hairman: as he shakes his head Read a letter. Any letter. Grim: With pleasure. a letter "I want to eet sum frozun yogert?" smile turns into a frown and he grabs another letter "I want to eet sum frozun yogert." another "Frozun yogert." another "Frozun yogert." another "Frozun yogert." How come these are all the same? Chairman Hairman: Because Fred Fredburger wrote every single one. as he shakes his head Nobody has even entered. Grim: I don't understand. Chairman Hairman: a sales chart See this chart? Grim: Yes. Chairman Hairman: This chart has nothing to do with us. a different sales chart Now, this chart. This chart shows sales have been declining ever since we hired you. Apparently, no one wants to buy a product with death on it. Who's dumb idea was it to hire you anyways? executive, who bares a very strange resemblance of SpongeBob SquarePants, hides under the desk. Grim: Oh, give me one more chance. I'll make sure Fred Fredburger has the best day of his life. It'll be a public-relation success! Chairman Hairman: Oh, it had better be. as he shakes his head Or else we shall teach you the new meaning of corporate responsibility! Chairman's executives threaten Grim with a spiked club and nunchuks. Grim gulps and is completely scared. The scene changes to the frozen yogurt parlor. Fred Fredburger: I like frozen yogurt. the glass Hey, this frozen yogurt tastes like invisible. Grim: You gotta pick a flavor first. Any flavor you choose. Just tell the nice man what you want. Fred Fredburger: Oh boy! at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is that brown one? Employee: Chocolate. Fred Fredburger: I like chocolate. Yes. at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is that green one? Employee: Mint. Fred Fredburger: I like mint, mint, mint, mint, mint. at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is the brown one? Employee: Chocolate. Fred Fredburger: I like chocolate. Yes. at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is the green? Grim: Look, the green one is mint, the brown one is chocolate. Got it? Fred Fredburger: Yes! at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is the... Grim: Just give him both flavors! Employee: You want toppings on that, sir? Fred Fredburger: What kind of... Grim: All of the toppings! scene changes to Fred Fredburger eating his frozen yogurt with Grim, Billy, and Mandy. Fred Fredburger: some frozen yogurt Ahh! down and eats some again Ahh! down and eats some again Ahh! down Billy: some frozen yogurt Ahh! down and eats some again Ahh! down Fred Fredburger: Ahh! Billy: Ahh! Fred Fredburger: Ahh! Billy: Ahh! Mandy: It's like stupid in stereo. Fred Fredburger: Ahh! Billy: Ahh! Fred Fredburger: Ahh! Billy: I said, "Ahh!" Grim: Here, Mandy. Take a picture to commemorate this exciting moment. holds up her camera Zoom in so you'll see my features clearly. zooms the picture in closer; Fred Fredburger eats some frozen yogurt and Mandy takes the picture No. No, that one didn't count. His mouth was open. Try again. Fredburger goes to eats some more of his frozen yogurt Fred, stop eat...takes another picture Fred? Fred Fredburger: Yes? Grim: You want this picture to be real nice, don't you? Fred Fredburger: Yes. Grim: And you're gonna wanna show it to the nice people at the...Fredburger looks at the frozen yogurt and Grim snaps his fingers Look at me, Fred! Show it to the nice people who are paying for all this, right? Fred Fredburger: My yogurt is melting. Grim: Forget the yogurt for a sec...takes another picture No! Wait 'till we smile. Fredburger digs his spoon in the frozen yogurt Dang it, Fred! Quit it! Fred Fredburger's trunk Okay, Mandy. Take the picture. Fredburger begins crying Oh, now you're ruining the... takes another picture Stop taking pictures! And you! Stop crying, now! Fredburger stops crying Give me that spoon! the spoon and throws it away Now, smile. Fredburger smiles Bigger! Fredburger makes a bigger smile; Grim and Fred Fredburger pose for the picture, but Mandy doesn't do anything; Grim starts talking through his teeth Take the picture already! Mandy: You told me to stop. Grim: I meant stop when we weren't ready. But now we're ready. takes the picture I wasn't ready! Fred Fredburger: through teeth My face hurts! Mandy: Now? Grim: through teeth Yes, now. Take it. Billy: Hey, can I be in the pic...takes the picture Grim: Dang it, Billy! I'm gonna tear your head off! the table force of Grim banging the table sends Fred Fredburger's frozen yogurt flying. Fred Fredburger: slow-motion NOOO!!!!! Fredburger's frozen yogurt falls onto the floor and splatters everywhere. Fred Fredburger falls to his knees and gasps. Fred Fredburger is horribly shocked at what Grim did. He smears the frozen yogurt around and around. His hands are now coating with the frozen yogurt and he smears his face with it. Fred Fredburger: You killed my yogurt! Grim: No, Fred! It was an accident! Fred Fredburger: away Fred Fredburger! Fred Fredburger! Fred Fredburger! Billy: Eh, good going, yogurt-killer. Grim: Fred, where'd you go? Fred Fredburger in the freezer Fred, come out of the freezer! Fredburger cries loudly Please, Fred! The CEOs are gonna beat me up! Fredburger cries loudly once more Billy, Mandy, what am I gonna do? I'm dead meat if he doesn't have a good time. Mandy: Give me that essay. Grim: Okay, but I do see what good this will...grabs the essay and writes something on it Mandy: Here. Grim: the essay and looks at it Oh. Fred! Hey, Fred, look! We have done anything on your list yet. See? Fredburger peeks through the window and sees the essay You wrote that you want to go to Sassy Cat Land. Fred Fredburger: I wrote that? Grim: Uh-huh. You sure did. Right? Billy: Yeah! 'Cause you love all the fun rides! Mandy: And the silly characters. Billy: And the hot dogs! And nachos! And... Fred Fredburger: I like nachos! Yes! off scene changes to Sassy Cat Land. Grim, Billy, Mandy, and Fred Fredburger are on a spinning ride. Grim: See, Fred? This is gonna be great. There's nothing more fun than amusement park rides. Fred Fredburger: Yes. ride slowly begins to spin. Then it starts to spin faster and faster. Fred Fredburger laughs and the wind blows in his face. The wind also blows in Billy and Mandy's faces. Fred Fredburger continues to laugh until he lets go of the safety bar. Grim: I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying yourself. Fred Fredburger gone Holy moly! Fred Fredburger: flown high into the sky due to letting go of the safety bar Fred Fredburger!!!! Grim: weepy Well, I guess my endorsement career is... Chairman Hairman: History! Do you hear me, Reaper?! as he shakes his head Fred Fredburger is history! Grim: Well, technically, they never found the body. So, it's quite possible that... punched in the face by Chairman Hairman Chairman Hairman: This is for ruining our company, jackwad! executives batter Grim with clubs And by the way, you're fired! Grim: Oh, the pain! The pain! cries Why mommy? Why? cries executive burns Grim to a crisp with a flamethrower. Chairman Hairman and the other three executives then pour hot coffee over Grim. It seems that Grim got what he deserved for his irresponsibility. Meanwhile, somewhere far up north, a yeti was walking by. He sees Fred Fredburger's feet sticking out of the snow. He touches him and he laughs under the snow. The yeti brings Fred Fredburger to a cave full of yetis. Yeti #1: Hey, I've found this guy and he's hungry. Can he share our food with us? Yeti #2: Sure! We have plenty of nachos and frozen yogurt. Do you like nachos and frozen yogurt? Fred Fredburger: Yes! My name is Fred Fredburger. Yeti #2: That's a good name. Can you spell it? scene; Fred Fredburger is back at the frozen yogurt parlor Fred Fredburger: at the flavors of frozen yogurt Hey, what flavor is that brown and yellow one? Employee: Chocolate banana. Fred Fredburger: I like both chocolate and bananas. Yes. Hey, what flavor is that pink one? Employee: Strawberry. Fred Fredburger: Hey, what flavor is that orange one? Employee: Orange. Fred Fredburger: Mmm! licks Hey, what flavor is that grayish-white one? employee looks down and sees a yeti in the frozen yogurt box. Yeti #1: I taste like nachos. Yes. Category:Transcripts Category:Season 5 Transcripts